It was mothers day. My wife was very pregnant with who we now know as Briarly. It was necessary to do SOMETHING for her for her first unofficial mothers day. When I asked what she would like, she said, "You know, I would really like to have my car detailed so that when the baby arrives we can at least start out with a clean car."
To which I replied, "Sure! But I'm not paying a couple hundred clams for someone else to do it. F@&% that. I'll do it myself."
Four months later her car is still fuzzy and messy inside. I never got around to it. A million things to do before the baby came and it just got lost in the shuffle.
But it was then that I realized that this was a common theme for me. I like to think that I can do all the things. I also have a tendency to overdo those things when I finally get to them. For example, a few years ago the Penguins finally made a run in the playoffs so my friend Charlie and I decide we should get some folks together. But watching on a 55" HD screen is not good enough, so we assembled a complete backyard theater, complete with one monster sound system and a 16' X 9' HD screen.
I began to look back and make of list of all the things I should have paid someone to do that I, instead, tackled myself, and likely overdid. This list went back a long way, but the majority of these things happened since I bought my house on a shoe-string budget and couldn't afford to pay for people to do things for me. Despite myself, and with the help of a few friends, I have been able to do some pretty good tackling.
In the Spring of 2002, I had finished my hitch in the Army and was moving back home to work with my dad and start a new life. Before I even got home, my dad was talking about fixing up his pond in the backyard by doing some landscaping, adding a second pond and maybe a waterfall. Make a sort-of rock/pond garden. In order to do this, someone would have to remove a deeply rooted tree, dig a deep hole, install a pond form, buy and haul 147 tons of river-rock by hand, calculate and install an underground pump system, build a stream, shallow the lower pond and somehow not kill all the fish. That would cost a fortune to pay someone to do. We said, "F@&% that. We'll do it ourselves." Five weeks later we got it finished, but we paid a price.
Two years later, I had just bought my own house in town and I also needed to do a little yard work. Climbing the front steps of my new house was like trying to get to the top of Mount St. Ankle Sprain through the Land of the Torn ACL without falling over the rusty, bent-up railing into Tetanus Abyss. Scaling this thing sober was a chore, let alone all the nights I came home drunk and crawled up for my own safety. So my friend Paul and I were bored one day and decided to destroy and replace them. It would certainly cost a fortune for someone to come in and take out the old and replace them with shiny new concrete, so, of course, "F@&% that. I'll do it myself." A month later, ten yards of concrete and much sweat and blood, I had some new front steps. I paid a price.
The theme continued. "Hey Paul, I heard you want a bar installed in your pool room. Don't pay anyone. F@&% that. We'll do it ourselves."
"What's that, honey? You want to pay someone to replace the plumbing in the upstairs bathroom? F@&% that. I'll do it myself."
"You want ALL the trees behind the house cut down? Fine, but F@&% that. I'll do it myself."
Fast-forward a few years and my now wife had moved in. The front steps project from before should have continued to the front porch, but I was out of time, money and energy. Filled with confidence from years of moderate successes, it was now time to tackle the big stuff. What I really needed was an army of laborers and about $30,000, but, "F@&% that. I'll do it myself." I needed to re-grade the back of the house, repair the crumbling wall under the front porch, remove all of the bushes and other landscaping, pour sixty feet of footing for a retaining wall, remove 48 million tons of clay, build a deck, and dig and install new French drains around the house. All while preparing for baby's arrival, which meant rearranging all the furniture, painting the nursery, buying and assembling all the baby furniture, maintaining a demanding job and taking care of a pregnant wife. Not complaining, just sayin'. I am currently paying the price.
The landscape work is more than half-completed, but now there is a baby and a family. Once these last projects are completed, I think that I will have finally reached the point in life where I no longer want to "F@&% that" and "do it myself". I want to pay to have someone else do the crap that I don't have the time and energy to do anymore.
Instead of those things, I want to spend time with my young family. I love my life, and want to live it, not work through it. I want to nurture my daughter, spend the few quiet seconds I have every day with my wife, write for this blog, maybe someday play chess with Terry or grab a beer with my friends. Life is too short to be a slave at work AND at home.
So, F@&% that. I won't do it myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment