I moved the mouse down to hover over the ribbon, and Google told me that it stood for "International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women".
Holy Shit. How did I miss this??? Why wasn't I notified? Shouldn't I be off of work?
Did we really need an international day to make us all aware that there is still some redneck asshole bashing his wife with a baseball bat for over-cooking the turkey? And do we need a ribbon to remind us of this momentous day? If so, how will the adornment of these ribbons solve the problem? Maybe the very mention of this to said redneck will send him into an angry tirade and cause him to beat his woman harder. Maybe the ribbon helps; maybe it doesn't. Maybe it just makes us feel better for not being able to do anything meaningful about it. Regardless, I'm tired of everyone's stupid cause. People have been wearing these badges of smugness for years and most have accomplished little more than making themselves look like they care.
Did we really need an international day to make us all aware that there is still some redneck asshole bashing his wife with a baseball bat for over-cooking the turkey? And do we need a ribbon to remind us of this momentous day? If so, how will the adornment of these ribbons solve the problem? Maybe the very mention of this to said redneck will send him into an angry tirade and cause him to beat his woman harder. Maybe the ribbon helps; maybe it doesn't. Maybe it just makes us feel better for not being able to do anything meaningful about it. Regardless, I'm tired of everyone's stupid cause. People have been wearing these badges of smugness for years and most have accomplished little more than making themselves look like they care.
People have an air of self-righteousness about them about these things. If we don't wear these ribbons, does this mean we support these problems? If I don't put a "Support the Troops" sticker on my car, does that invariably mean I want all the troops to be blown to hell? If an NFL player doesn't put something obnoxiously pink on and distract everyone, does that mean he wants everybody's tits to rot off? Maybe if I don't grow a mustache my gentleman's yarbles will dissolve. Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David recognized the idiocy of this trend almost twenty years ago:
More after the jump.....
It seems that there are many ribbons for many causes and occasions and months remembering this or that. My curiosity drove me to wonder what all the different colors mean, since it seems society is always jamming some kind of awareness or remembrance in our mouths.
The complete and current list is something to behold. Most of these ribbons have multiple causes attached to them. For example, one could conceivably be aware of bullying, chronic fatigue syndrome, myalgic encephalomyelitis, addiction recovery, and sex slavery simultaneously, just by pinning on a blue ribbon. A green ribbon can mean you are aware of mental health, pedestrian safety, and Tourette syndrome, all while advocating the Legalization of Marijuana.
Some other highlights include:
- Orange with Paw Print = Vegetarian/Vegan Awareness
- Butter Cream = Lactose Intolerance Awareness
- Zebra Print = Rare Disease Awareness (the catch-all ribbon)
- Red and Black = Atheist Solidarity Awareness
- Red and Yellow w/White Stripes = Choking Game Awareness
- Periwinkle = Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness
- Orange = Self-Injury Awareness
From Wikipedia, here is the complete list:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_awareness_ribbons#cite_note-112
Right.
So if today is an international day of something, what others do I need to start planning for? I plan to take days off for the following occasions:
February 13th - World Radio Day
March 20th - World Happiness Day
March 24th - International Day for the Right to the Truth concerning Gross Human Rights Violations and for the Dignity of Victims
June 1st - Global Day of Parents
December 11th - International Mountain Day
The UN has also deemed this decade the Second United Nations Decade for the Eradication of Poverty. Must've been a highly successful First United Nations Decade for the Eradication of Poverty.
See for yourself:
http://www.un.org/en/events/observances/days.shtml
Since we're at it, here are some causes I want people to recognize. Lobbying for these causes will now begin. Check for these color combinations/causes in fine retailers soon and sign up on this blog for a list of awareness walks and events in your area.
Yellowed Ivory = Worn Toothbrush Awareness
Fulvous = Shoehorn Accident Awareness
Flavescent= Sea Monkey Genocide Awareness
Mulberry= Labia Awareness
Plaid = Nighttime-Lego-Step-On Awareness
Khaki = Awareness of the Department of Redundancy Department Awareness
Tire Tread = Association of Advocates for the Advocacy of Vehicular Manslaughter
Remember kids - support a cause or you are worthless.
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